Posted by: worinld | November 30, 2007

tools of the trade

So, I do worship ministry at my church. The problem is, I’ve long forgotten my passion for music. back when I was a little squirt, I lived and breathed music. I even credit my passion for music as my savior from my depression during my teenage years before I knew Christ.

But something happened…

I began to experience music in the sacred, and well… I realized music really wasn’t my savior in my depression. music, was just a tool that God used in his whole plan of his to help me out. So, instead of finding a deeper passion in God’s gifts as I drew closer to God, I began to see less value in them. And so, began my life of passionless living.

I kinda hate myself for thinking this way. It’s hard doing church life without a passion. Heck, I do the worship ministry at church, and for a few years, I only kept up with music because I had to (totally lost touch with secular music, cuz, there was nothing great about it… after all, music is just a tool). I thought the same with words, and at times… even relationships.

I look back now, and I see that I forgot to seek God in my everyday life. I began to have a disconnect between the sacred and secular. And I found myself… well, pretty miserable. I found pleasure in worldly things simply for my amusement, and never saw God in my daily life.

So now, ironically (or perhaps not), I’m rediscovering my passions in ‘worldly gifts’ in secular music (cuz let’s face it, it really is better musically), and finding God indwelling in it.

here’s to God in my everything.

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Responses

  1. Which secular music are you rediscovering your passions through these days, if you care to share?

  2. Worinld — Thanks for sharing part of your story. I can relate to what you’re saying. Before I became a Christian, music (indie rock, in particular) was a refuge for me.

    When I became a follower of Christ, I abandoned all of my “secular” music, selling back hundreds of CDs to the local record shop, including several rare and out of print 7″ singles… ouch!. While I have actually ended up re-purchasing some of those CDs in the years that have since passed, I know it was a necessary step in my identity development — I needed to redefine who I was (or, rather, allow God to redefine my life).

    Deep down, I think my enjoyment of music is hard-wired into my character. It needed to be tweaked and put back into proper perspective, but I am now able to enjoy all kinds of music and genuinely give thanks to God in all of it — in much the same way it sounds like you’re discovering.

    May God restore your joy and passion in creating music in the church context as well.

  3. srry for getting back to these comments so late. I’m so out of it…
    jason.
    i’ve been rediscovering some old stuff that I grew up with and loved… bunch of the classic stuff like paul & art, beattles, etc. bunch of old 80’s stuff that I haven’t listened to in ages. discovering some stuff that I totally missed out during my stage of ‘music is meaningless’ like radiohead, coldplay…
    but to add to the diversity, I’ve also been listening a lot of hiphop stuff. getting into whatever’s on 92q, as well as random recommendations i’ve gotten in this…like lately been listening to the grey album a bunch.
    also checking out other stuff like math rock and classical music

    lately, most of whati’ve been listening to has been radiohead, corrine bailey rae, & hodgepodge of 80’s/early 90’s stuff along with the christian stuff that i keep listening to.

    Dan,
    thanks for that encouragement. In my walk, I never had that ‘secular music is evil/i must get rid of it’ phase. Rather, it was more of… an ecclessiastes type, ‘everything is meaningless’ and thus ‘music is meaningless’ so, why do I spend so much energy into it? type attitude. so, returning to that passion and joy has been less of a finding God in the secular, but more of a finding joy in life type journey.


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